Tuesday, 24 April 2007


i visited my best friend's livejournal today. she was v emo, and v tired, and as i read her entry my heart went out to her. she is a great person, the most altruistic soul i have ever encountered, and i feel thankful to have her as a friend. she doesnt deserve being ill treated, doesnt deserve being taken advantage of, doesnt deserve to be so exhausted and helpless. my friend is in a bad state, and my heart feels heavy too.

i have to admit that jc is a weird time. i dun think it is a natural awkwardness that everyone feels during the transition from acny teen to adulthood, i dunno whats wrong with me too, i never tried harder but what i get in return are so meagre. oh well. studies. relationships. hahaz. what can i say? life feels esp bumpy nowadays. i m overwhelmed with fatigue and feel so aged, feeling that hollow of fear in my stomach that has become so familiar. i dun expect u to notice, to perceive my insecurity behind that incandescent smile, to see that shadow of uncertainty hovering around the edges of my smile.

to see that maybe sometimes i smile because i dun want people to see how pensive my eyes actually are.

sometimes i wonder too what i m living 4. why i bother 2 try. why i try to do e best i can since i dont believe in reincarnation or retribution anyway. close ur eyes, and its all over. e temptation is there, i admit. i m emo cos i feel inadequate. that i m becoming increasingly further from what i want in life with every step i take, stranded in e midst of a pool of murk. who can i turn to, seriously? do i even bother? i m so tired, i dozed off while holding e 10kg rifle in shooting.

i told my friend that just this once, i cant say anything to comfort u, because like u, i m hoping that things will take a better path. because i deserve it for trying, and she deserves it for for being such a good person.

i told her not to worry, whilst i m desperately trying to believe myself too.

bowei

07s7e says lets mug at 10:23 pm

.G.U.M.

07S7E

hwa chong institution
apollo
stp
24 GUM-ers
mrs judith cheng
shuni the teddy bear

alycia. binsheng. bixuan.
bowei. caolei. chaotong.
esmond. helen. huiqi.
jinxiang. junjie.
kaixian.
kelvin. mark. peggy.
qunyuan. ruibin. shuliang.
tunglin. weelic.
woonchee.
wudi. yuanchang. zhiguang.

.MEMORIES

January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008

.TAG


.APOLLO

06S7E Senior Class
08S7B Junior Class
Apollo Faculty
Apollo Fac Dance Video 2007
07S7B
07S7D
07S71
07S73
07S75
07S77
07S79
07A14
07A15

.HC Blogs

STP
07S70
07S72
07S74
07S76
07S78
07S7A
07S7C
07S60
07S61
07S62
07S63
07S64
07S65
07S66
07S67
07S68
07S69
07S6A
07S6B
07S6D
07S6E
07S6F
07S6G
07S6H
07S6J
07S6K
07A10
07A11
07A12
07A13

.Counter

search engine optimization marketing
provided by Inteliture.com .

.CREDITS

thanks to:
shuliang for editing blog picture
06S7E for shuni's picture

Image: X
Brushes: X, X
Pattern: X
Layout: X